Quotes
"So he says to me, 'You gotta do something smart, baby, something
big.' He says, 'You wanna be a super villan right?' And I go,
'Yeah baby, yeah, yeah, what do I gotta do?' And he says, 'You got
bombs, blow up the Comet Club. It's packed with super heroes, you'll
go down in super villan history.' And I go, 'Yeah baby! Cuz I'm the
Evil Midnight Bomber what bombs at midnight!!'"
- The Evil Midnight Bomber in The Tick vs. The Breadmaster
"Let us not forget the lesson that we can learn from this,
Arthur, that man was not meant to tamper with the four basic food
groups."
- The Tick in The Tick vs. The Breadmaster
"Here's a clue...If he jumps up and kicks you in the stomach, it's
probably not Santa."
- The Tick in The Tick Loves Santa!
"Eating kittens is just plain...plain *wrong*! And no one should
do it ever!"
-The Tick in Armless But Not Harmless
"Ah savory cheese puffs, made inedible by time and fate."
-The Tick in The Tick vs. the Mole-Men
"I don't know the meaning of the word surrender! I mean, I know it,
I'm not dumb...just not in this context."
-The Tick in The Tick vs. the Uncommon Cold
"It's starting to smell a little like danger in here, or heavily
fried food."
-The Tick in The Tick vs. the Proto Clown
"Well, once again my friend, we find that science is a two-headed
beast. One head is nice, it gives us asprin and other modern
conveniences. But the other head of science is bad! Oh beware the
other head of science, Arthur, it bites!"
-The Tick in The Tick vs. Dinosaur Neil
Evil Sits Down for a Moment
Die Fledermaus: So you're evil huh?
The Ottoman: Yeah
Die Fledermaus: Well, it's always something.
The Tick: Falling in love with a super-villan is trouble with a
capital "troub."
Die Fledermaus: Everybody just butt out! I'm not in love with her.
I'm Die Fledermaus and the only person I'm in love with is me!
Tick: Ottoman! There'll be no Justice of the Peace for you! Just a big piece of justice!
Die Fledermaus: Don't ever try to marry me again!
The Tick: Oh look Arthur, it's a completely rehabilitated villan.
She's comfortable with herself. Comfort, commitment, marriage - what do
these things have in common? The letter C, except for marriage. And if
people get all British when ever they get knocked on the head, what do
British people get? I know...comatose! Another C.
Arthur: Tick, it's great to have you back to normal.
Ants in Pants!
The Tick: Vigilant, he watches the waking city, his magesitic form
cutting the crisp morning air
Arthur: Uh, Tick, would help me fold these sheets please?
The Tick: Already, a challenge!
The Tick: Hey, you, in the pumps, I say to you, "Stop being bad!"
Captain Sanity: The first thing I tell all my patients is, "Take
it easy, it's only in your mind."
The Tick: And that's just it doc, my mind has always been my
Achilles heal.
Fish Boy, Lost Prince of Atlantis: Where's the Tick? You told my
mom the Tick would be here.
Die Fledermaus: Listen Fish Boy, I told your mom a lot of things.
Die Fledermaus: So what's your plan?
American Maid: First, we find out what they're up to. Then, we
stop them.
Die Fledermaus: Uh, you want to elaborate on that second part?
The Tick: Sanity, you're a mad man!
Die Fledermaus: Let me handle this.
American Maid: You're going to handle this?
Die Fledermas: Of course, they're ant women, right?
Sewer Urchin: Ohhh, course we're definitely done for, yeah,
definitely.
Arthur: Why do you have to always keep saying that word! "Definitely,
definitely." You're driving everyone crazy!
American Maid: Arthur, take it easy.
Sewer Urchin: Ahh, definitely very loud.
Arthur: Not everything's definite you know!
The Tick: You know, come to think of it, I'm not afraid of ants. I never was. It's just when they all come running out of a lady's pants like that...eeewwhh, creepy. And isn't insanity really just a one-trick pony anyway? I mean, all you get is one trick, rational thinking. But when you're good and crazy...ohh ooh ooh ooh ohh...the sky's the limit!
The Tick vs. Education
Flying Squirrel: Excuse me but, uh, mm, I.. I don't, I don't think that
Uncle Creamy *is* a super villan. I mean, I *talked* to him. I looked
into his eyes and all I saw was rich, creamy goodness.
The Tick: Oh come on Flying Squirrel! You heard the television.
He's a mime and a liar! In my book, that says case closed.
Arthur: Tick, if we're going to fight evil tomorrow, then we
better get some sleep tonight.
The Tick: There you go! One of the side-kicks most important
jobs is to keep the super hero in touch with reality. Because in this
business reality can be *pretty* hard to come by.
Arthur: You know Tick, something's really off here. Maybe
Flying Squirrel's instincts are sharper than we think.
The Tick: Yes, perhaps she is possessed of a squirrely sixth sense.
Baby Boomerangutang: It's time to deploy the middle child!
Flying Squirrel: I..I..I like squirrels!
Ivan Brubeck: Oh, very interesting. I like the mako shark, a sleek,
efficient eating machine, but that's not important. Your time is up!
The Tick: Mister, *you* are suspended!
Uncle Creamy: Once I underwent my transformation, I realized
that what this man has been passing off as ice cream is in fact nothing more
than the run-off from his factory's coolant system. Industrial affluents,
gussied up with artificial sweetner.
Sweener: Yes, yes! It's all true, and I would have gotten away with
it, if it wasn't for those meddling super hero students.
The Tick: Well, I can't think of a higher mark than the bitter
confession of a villan being hauled off to jail. Congratulations
class!
Mr. Exciting: Whoo!
The Tick: But what have we really learned? Well, for one thing,
not everyone can know everything. Some people don't know anything. I myself
don't know much. But I do know this, that uh, well, the thing I just said. I
also know that you've all passed the course, except for Sarcastro, who
passes with highest honors.
Sarcastro: Oh, I..I do?
The Tick: Heh, heh, heh. Yeah right.
The Tick vs. the Idea Men
The Tick: You're not going crazy Arthur, you're going sane in a crazy world!